After ten days, I am not sure what type of emotions to have as I make my final stretch of the walk. I am overwhelmed with emotion. On one hand, I don't feel like I did enough to let people know there are men, women and children out there being victimized on a constant basis. On the other hand, I am glad it's done! All I want to do is go home and be in a place of familiarity and not walk.
I see the end of this journey as the beginning of an entirely different life for myself and Kathy. I did what God asked, even though I questioned myself and God at times. However, I saw God's hand in every step I took. He guided me to where I needed to be. He talked to me when I couldn't go any further and helped me make it just a few more steps.
I learned that sometimes the people you least expect to help, will be the ones that step up in great ways. I learned that the ones you thought would be there to support you and give you encouragement not only let you down, but they act as if what you just did was nothing. I also learned that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of what I did, because I was obedient to the call on my life and God is proud of me and loves me.
I saw people go out of their way to make sure that I knew they were praying for me. I got text messages, calls, encouragement via Twitter and Facebook. I had some have to encourage me by letting me down, making me mad or just flat out not being there for me when I "thought" I needed their help. I will admit, there were times when I tried to use the convenience of Kathy as a crutch to not walk anymore. However, God was also working on her too and she didn't allow that to happen. Each time she said no, there was a reason for her saying it... like people stopping to pay for a meal or someone who was there that I needed to talk to. It amazes me that God can take a tense situation and make it all about Him.
Life lesson that I will carry with me forever and hope to get to teach others... God calls us to be obedient. It doesn't matter how old we are or how fit we are, God gives us everything we need, to do what he has called us for. You just have to make the decision to do it. I was the least prepared for this journey. I HATE walking. I used to fight Kathy all the time when she would ask me to go walk with her. I have a thousand excuses why not to do what I did, but those did not hold me back. Just to name a few, I was out of shape, have diabetes, didn't have money, would lose my job, had no clue how to get there on foot, just flat out didn't want to do it, didn't have the time and simply didn't think I could do it. However, God provided all that I needed and will continue to provide all that I need. It doesn't matter if you are educated, rich, poor, happy, sad, over weight, sick, crippled, injured or any other millions of excuses, God can and will use you and equip you, no matter what His call is on your life! He will walk with you and carry you through even when you think He is not there, even when you injure your knee and can not walk, He will help you to finish the journey.
I will tell you now, when I twisted my knee and fell, I was done. Kathy had just brought me a few things to help me and she watched as I limped off, this was on the third day of my journey. I told her daily that I could not handle the pain, but she told me rely on God. There were days I cried, there were days, I simply asked God to just give me a place to sit for a few minutes. Another lesson I learned, be careful what you ask for, be very specific because He gave me a place to sit... right out in the open, with no breeze, no shade, but it was a place to sit, so I asked again, this time I asked for a cool place to sit. He provided me a cool spot, with shade and a breeze. I think He has a sense of humor.
Ben, Thanks so much for not giving out my phone number. I really don't think I would have had much of a phone left if I had gotten all the calls that would have come in. I know how much everyone was behind me. I know at night when I would look at the messages or Kathy would tell me about people who were calling, it would lift my spirits and give me that much more encouragement to keep going. I sometimes believe that the fact that I didn't want to let my friends down made me try even harder. However, the truth is, my driving force was to not let God down, because He had not let me down.
I walked alot by faith, not by sight, because most of what I saw were people's discards, lost items, dead animals and crazy drivers. I think I could have equipped an entire tool box with all the lost tools I found. However, I just didn't have the energy to pick them up and add them to my backpack. It was heavy enough. I could have eaten alot of "road kill" soup, but the thought was just not appetizing. I also saw the destruction of our land with all the discarded waste that people were just too lazy to put in a trash can. As for the drivers lack of care for anyone, that was the saddest part to me. Many would not even pay attention and nearly run me over. Others were in such a hurry that they were trying to run other cars over. No wonder so many people get injured in construction zone accidents.... I was most amazed at how some of the truck drivers were driving.... running over the line, not paying attention, and wide loads not giving me any room to walk. I actually had one come within inches of hitting me and I was on the grass.
My day ended with a flight home. I was a little upset because I was leaving Kathy behind to drive home, I was not mad, but I guess I felt guilty about it. I really felt bad when she had to bring me a key after leaving because I had no way of getting in the house when I made it home. I have to say, Thanks God for not letting her get lost when she came back.
As I went to the gate to check in, my free ticket for 5:10 pm was bumped up the the 1:00 pm flight that had been delayed to 2:30 p.m., so I was able to leave much quicker than expected. I tried to find out who changed my ticket, but nobody could tell me. Not one person had an answer for me, so I will just say, it was another God thing. Of all the places for me to sit, I was placed in a window seat, beside a man that was reading a book. I am usually the type that leaves people alone, but I just happen to glance at this book and see something that sparked my interest, it had a reference to God in it, so I struck up a conversation. Come to find out, this guy, Carl is a manager of a Mardel, (my wifes favorite place to shop... ok, mine too) He and I talked about my journey and we talked about the book he was reading. I have to laugh, because the book he was reading is Max Lucado's newest book and that just happens to be Kathy's favorite author. Carl told me that this book talked about what I had just done. He then gave it to me, even though he was not finished reading it, because I told him Kathy was an avid reader of Max Lucado. I was thrilled to be able to take this home to Kathy, the book is Out Live Your Life. I want to thank Carl for the conversation, the book and the encouragement he gave me. I have to also say, Kathy will get the book when I am done reading it. I have not been able to put it down since I started reading it. (I don't like to read)
I want to end this blog by saying, this is not the end. I will be adding more to my blog, because I have a feeling that my journey has just began. However, I want to quote Max Lucado from his book Out Live Your Life.....
"God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. Don't let satan convince you otherwise. He will try. He will tell you that God has an IQ requirement or an entry fee, that He employees only specialists and experts, governments and high powered personalities. When satan whispers such lies, dismiss him with this truth, God stampeded the first century society with swaybacks, not thoroughbreds. Before Jesus came along, the disciples were loading trucks, coaching soccer, and selling slurpy drinks at the local convenience store. Their collars were blue and their hands were calloused, and there is no evidence that Jesus chose them because they were smarter or nicer than the guy next door. The one thing they had going for them was a WILLINGNESS to take a step when Jesus said, "follow me." " (emphasis on willingness mine)
"Are you more dinghy than cruise ship? More stand-in than movie star? More plumber than executive? More blue jean than blue blood? Congratulations. God changes the world with folks like you."
No comments:
Post a Comment